This transparent exhortation & intercession about gaslighting because the Lord moved heavily on my heart to release this message. I share some personal testimonies as well as notes from teachings by Kris Reece, PhD,  Christian author, speaker, and counselor who specializes in toxic relationships, manipulation, and setting boundaries from a biblical viewpoint. I’ve summarized the talking points below.  You can also view Kris’ article How to Deal with Gaslighting Biblically .

It’s long, but I hope you’ll take time to listen to the entire piece. I survived gaslighting in the Church, and my prayer is that you will, too.

Blessings!

*My apologies for the loudness of the music. I recorded it wrong.

Talking Points

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where someone twists reality, causing victims to doubt their own perceptions and judgment. It can leave individuals feeling confused, spiritually drained, and questioning their reality.

Some key aspects of gaslighting include:

• deception
• control
• blame-shifting
• hypocrisy

1. Deception and Manipulation

• Gaslighting involves warping the truth to control others, not just simple lying.
• Victims may possess evidence of the truth, yet gaslighters convince them they are wrong.
• The tactic is deeply manipulative, designed to make victims question their reality and sense of self.
• Deception is used to weaken and destabilize the victim, leaving them confused and vulnerable.

2. Control and Domination

Gaslighting os a tool for control and domination by:

• By gradually take over a victim’s sense of autonomy.
• Through repeated emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, and subtle undermining, the gaslighter slowly erodes the victim’s confidence and independence.
• This process often begins with small, seemingly innocent acts but eventually leads the victim to second-guess their own decisions and perceptions, feeling as though every aspect of their life is dictated by someone else.
• Control in gaslighting is not always overt or aggressive; it can be disguised as concern or care, making it even harder for victims to recognize.
  • Phrases like:
    • “I just want what’s best for you” or “
    • You’re making a big mistake, but I’ll support you anyway”
  • are examples of how domination is masked behind a facade of helpfulness.
• The underlying intent is not to foster a healthy, equal relationship but to establish ownership and authority over the victim, leaving them feeling trapped and powerless.
• This insidious form of control is fundamental to gaslighting, as it keeps victims in a
• state of confusion and dependence, reinforcing the manipulator’s dominance.

1. Deception & Manipulation

• John 8:44\
  • This scripture is used to expose the nature of deception, describing the devil as “a liar and the father of lies.”
  • When someone manipulates and twists reality, they are operating under the same spirit of deception that Jesus warned about.
• Genesis 3:1\
  • The phrase “Did God really say…?” Satan used this phrase of deception as the original act of twisting truth in the Garden of Eden.

2. Control & Domination

• 2 Corinthians 11:14-15\
  • his passage warns that “even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light,” and so do his servants.
  • This  scripture  illustrates how gaslighters often appear caring or concerned, but their true intent is control and domination, masked behind a facade of helpfulness.

3. Blame-Shifting & Accusation

• Revelation 12:10\
  • Here, Satan is called “the accuser of the brethren.” People who shift blame and accuse others, leaving victims feeling guilty and condemned. This scripture is used to help victims recognize that false accusation is a spiritual attack on their identity.

4. Hypocrisy & False Righteousness

• Matthew 23:27-28\
• Jesus rebukes the Pharisees for being “whitewashed tombs”—appearing righteous outwardly but being corrupt inside.
• Gaslighters present a polished, moral exterior while hiding manipulative and deceitful behavior.

How These Scriptures Help Overcome Gaslighting

• Expose Deception: By recognizing manipulative patterns as described in scripture, victims can step into truth and begin to reclaim their reality.
• Break Free from Control: Understanding that control and domination are not love, but spiritual attacks, empowers victims to set boundaries and seek freedom.
• Reject False Accusation: Knowing that blame-shifting is a tactic of the enemy helps victims reject guilt and shame that isn’t theirs to carry.

Discern Hypocrisy: Scripture encourages discernment, helping victims see beyond outward appearances to the true nature of manipulative individuals.